Tips if YOU are one of "those" people

I did a general post on being one of "those" people with food restrictions/allergies, and included tips on how to deal with a friend or family member who is one of "those" people. However, I decided to do a separate one with tips of what to do if you are one of those people. These are strictly what I've found helpful through my personal experience:

1. Accept that you are one of those people, and don't compromise your diet to avoid being an inconvenience. I included this somewhat in my last post, but I think it all starts with this step. No matter how much you don't want a particular food intolerance or allergy, you can't will it away. I've tried! Accepting it and deciding not to compromise leads to working around it successfully... finally. It's so easy to forget how awful you feel when going off of a way of eating, until you do it. When you're feeling "normal" it's easy to think maybe you can cheat a little. Then you do, then you regret it and then you have to get back on track. Getting over that denial or hope that maybe you just tracked your symptoms wrong or that maybe your symptoms were from something else (hopefully something easier to give up!) takes a little time. At least it did for me. Also, if people see you compromising your diet on a regular basis, they will assume that it's because it's not that big of a deal if you "cheat", understandably so. I completely "get" the constant battle in your mind to choose between the difficulty of avoiding what you shouldn't have and dealing with the consequences if you have it. There comes a point where you have to just accept it.
2. If someone invites you over for a meal, ask what they are making and if you can bring something. This is hard. It always feels rude no matter how many times I do it, but it is necessary. Asking if you can bring something helps in two ways. First, it doesn't feel as rude to ask what they're making in the first place when it's immediately followed up by another question focusing on helping in some way. Second, if what they are making is something you can't have, you can bring something that you can have. If you mention that you have an allergy in the process, make sure they are aware that you don't expect them to cook a "special" meal for you or modify their meal plan. This is unfair to them. If they are cooking when you arrive, ask if you can help with anything. This makes it easier to figure out what ingredients are in something (if you have a severe form of celiacs, this option is out since just touching or inhaling small particles of gluten can trigger a severe reaction). Sometimes people forget to list things or simply don't know what's all in that can of cream of mushroom soup their putting on the chicken or that there is wheat in soy sauce. So observing and helping in the cooking process helps you become more familiar with the ingredients.
3. Speak up! An appropriate time would be when you're at a restaurant and need to "customize" things. This is annoying, but also necessary. Sure, it may inconvenience the server, and be embarrassing to have a list of customizations and questions while everyone is watching you order, but is that two minutes of embarrassment worth avoiding getting sick from your meal? It is for me! If servers are helpful about this, I just increase their tip to make it worth it. I had a server at my favorite Thai restaurant tell me that if you don't specify gluten free in a dish, the cooks will just toss flour into the sauce sometimes to "thicken" it, even if it isn't normally an ingredient. He said to always specify "no gluten" when ordering for this reason. This completely explained why sometimes I would get very sick from eating there, other times I was fine! I was very appreciative of his input and glad I started asking questions (he was also nicely tipped). Also, when you're in a group deciding where to go for dinner, speak up and throw a suggestion out there that you know is safe for you. Hopefully there's takers on your idea. If you wait until everyone's decided and realize it's somewhere you can't make work, it's a lot more awkward to speak up at that time, or decide not to go.
4. Don't speak up! Know when to speak, and when not to. For instance, if someone cooks you a meal don't wait until it's all done and you're ready to eat and then ask what's in it and mention you can't eat certain ingredients. This puts the host on the spot and then he or she may feel bad you can't have what they made. This is a time where you just have to go hungry if you question the safety of the meal instead of being rude. Or, if you are invited on prearranged plans to go somewhere specific (maybe someplace you know you won't be able to eat), don't speak up unless invited to give your input. There's always a way around this, even just politely declining the invitation.
5. Be prepared to miss out on some things. For example, if you have a gluten allergy and all your friends decide to go to the newest brew pub/pizza joint where all they have is beer and burgers, just don't go. If you know everyone will be enjoying your two favorite things in front of you that you can't have (and are afraid of just giving in), it's okay to miss out and avoid the constant temptation.
6. Make plans instead of trying to "go with the flow". This is hard if you are naturally a "go with the flow" sort of person and you aren't used to leading or initiating things. This is another area I'm still working on myself. Getting used to being an initiator or decision maker when it doesn't come natural is tough. If you're already the decision maker of the group, this should be pretty easy for you! 

So those are my few tips I've learned in dealing with food restrictions. Do you have any more tips that you've come across that have been helpful while dealing with your food restriction?

I'm one of "those" people...

If there was one thing I could change about my life, it would be that I could eat whatever I want and not "pay" for it later with joint pain, hospital visits, increased asthma attacks/allergies, weight gain, headaches, fatigue... and the list goes on. Aside from giving up particular foods that I love (BREAD!!), I absolutely hate being "one of those people" who has dietary restrictions that makes everything (like cooking, going out, or going to someone's house for dinner) more difficult. I hate it so much that I have compromised my diet to please others over the years, and then paid for it later.  I can't count how many times I have not had time to eat at home (or was just a poor planner) and then made plans to go out to dinner and end up at a place where I can't eat anything on the menu. Instead of being a burden and saying "There's nothing I can eat there, can we go somewhere else?" I just go with the flow and usually end up eating something I shouldn't due to being extremely hungry and just giving in to the moment. This has been the downfall of every single eating plan I've tried to follow. I feel like if I choose to stick to it, I also have to be a burden or plan killer. Since food is involved at every social gathering, this is unavoidable. After all, when was the last social function you attended where food and drink were not involved? Can you think of one? I can't. This became much more obvious once I stopped taking much pleasure in food. My focus is now strictly on finding things that won't make me sick. Eating went from being an enjoyment to a huge burden.

I've come to the conclusion that I now have to accept I'm one of those people. I have to just accept it. There it is. I officially admit it to myself. I have to be a burden to be healthy. I also have to accept that it isn't fair to compromise my health to please others or to avoid being an inconvenience. After all, good friends wouldn't want me to be sick if I had the choice not to be. This is easier said that done. I have to remind myself that others without food allergies/reactions likely don't understand what is involved if I just give in and go with the flow like I so desperately want to do... even just one time. Most people don't know what it's like to wake up exhausted, in pain, unable to think clearly, and then go about the day ignoring the fact that they feel awful because of that piece of bread or beer they ate from the night before. I wouldn't want them to either! I also need to stop assuming others understand this sort of thing. They may not understand the importance of sticking to it because they don't see the outward reaction. This is the problem with silent illnesses when you're not a "complainer". People don't know what they don't see and what you don't tell them. I've had people say things like "I've seen you eat pizza before, can't you just have a bite, it must not be that bad of an allergy?"... Sure, they have seen me eat pizza before (I used pizza as an example just because it causes the most reaction for me out of every food), but that's as far as they have witnessed. They didn't see (or hear about) the part where I went home and couldn't sleep all night due to a racing heartbeat and itchy skin, which lead me to take 2 Benadryl and pseudo-sleeping all night, and then waking up in the morning with a terrible headache, asthma, joint pain and then remaining completely fatigued for the next few days. If this happened to them when they ate pizza, they probably wouldn't eat pizza either (or make those sort of comments). So, I've posted six tips below for those who have friends or family with food allergies who may not know exactly what to do or say to help regarding various situations. These can pretty much be applied to everyone on some sort of diet, whether it's to avoid allergens or not:

1. If you're inviting them over for a meal, tell them what the meal is ahead of time so they can plan around it. It may mean eating at home beforehand if it's something they can't have any part of, but it is always very appreciated when they know this ahead of time. Also, ask them if they have any questions about the meal or want to know what's in it. People with dietary restrictions dread being a burden, and this can make initiating questions about what's in your food uncomfortable. Be assured that this doesn't mean you have to modify or change what you're making. They don't expect anyone to suddenly become an expert in what does or doesn't have xanthan gum or yeast extract (just examples). They very well may be able to eat what you're making, but maybe they just err on the safe side and don't because they don't know what's in it and didn't want to ask.
2. Don't be offended or feel bad if they don't eat something you've made. It is not personal at all. In fact, I'm sure they would love to eat whatever it is. It just means they will feel miserable if they eat it and need to avoid feeling miserable. They are most likely used to missing out on wonderful food, so this is nothing to feel bad about.
3. Try to have social gatherings that aren't based around food. Food is so ingrained into our society that this is a difficult one. But while food represents joy and refreshment for the "normal person", it can represent anxiety and stress for someone who has restrictions. After all, social gatherings don't have to involve food, right?
4. Have a pot luck instead of cooking everything yourself (just try not to ask them to bring the dessert). That way he/she can always bring something they are able to eat, even if there's nothing else they can eat at the function. Speaking from experience, desserts are really hard for people to eat with food allergens. They almost always involve dairy or flour, and the dairy free/gluten free deserts probably aren't ones "normal" people would choose to eat because they usually don't taste good unless made from scratch by an experienced baker (just being honest!). When I'm asked to bring desert, 99% of the time I just bring something I can't eat and know everyone else will enjoy.
5. Decide on a restaurant that has a wide range of foods, or brags of their "gluten free" options. This tip works for both "normal" people and those with dietary restrictions. Pretty much anyone with food allergies can't go to places like pizza joints, sandwich places, Chinese restaurants, or places that just serve fried food (like most bars). A good rule of thumb is if there aren't salad options on the menu, it's going to be hard to find anything for someone with food restrictions to eat. I mentioned looking for restaurants that brag of their "gluten free" options because restaurants that are familiar with gluten intolerance will have a much higher likelihood of accommodating the menu to other allergens or restrictions as well.
6. Be supportive. Avoid trying to get them to eat things they shouldn't, or downplaying how much of an ingredient is in something. It isn't always the amount of an allergen that causes a reaction. A tiny amount can cause an auto-immune response that sends their body into a downward spiral. I had a bartender once tell me he had someone who had Celiacs get sick from a mixed drink there that was "gluten free" each time he came in. They couldn't figure out the problem for a long time. It turned out that the ice was kept in an area that had a tiny bit of other alcohols that were not gluten free drip on it. This tiny amount was causing his body to attack itself (granted this was a severe form of celiacs). Once he eliminated the ice, the problem stopped.

So those are my tips and experience based from the perspective of one of those people. I welcome any more ideas or thoughts to make things easier for everyone, "normal" people included!

CornuCO-OPia

Whenever I visit the local co-op, I notice a lot more people than usual taking an extremely large amount of time to choose their products. Some people are aware that there are others trying to shop, and they kindly step aside to let you grab what you need, but some are oblivious and give a "look" when you say "excuse me" and reach by them to grab your product you've been waiting (and sometimes inadvertently blocking the aisle) to grab . This is one of the reasons I only shop at the co-op at an unusual time, so I can avoid so many people. After starting this new diet and purchasing very specific ingredients (or lack thereof) in food/products, I understand why people spend a terribly large amount of time picking something that seems simple, like, lets say... butter. I spent about 5-7 whole minutes reading the various labels of the ten different kinds of butter on the shelf trying to find just one that was "grass feed". Even brands sell different "kinds" butters within their brand. It made me wonder "Is hand rolled butter really better somehow and I'm just not aware of the reason?". Silly. Finally, I found one that was made from grass feed cow milk. Then the eggs (about five feet away)... another ten minute decision. "free range", "vegetarian feed", "cage free", "organic", "Amish/Mennonite", "humanely raised", or any combination of things are listed on the package. You have to know what these labels mean in order to choose, so it it's very difficult if you haven't done prior research and don't know there's three thousand ways of labeling something. Yep, research... on egg labeling! For example "cage free" sounds great. You're imagining chickens running around on a farm, free roaming, no cages, enjoying the sunshine... but (after looking it up) all that means is that they aren't in a one foot cube cage their entire lives while they lay eggs. It can still mean they have no access to the outdoor air and are kept indoors (farmers do this because it's easier to prevent disease indoors, which means higher profits) in miserable and cramped conditions. So what are the best eggs anyway? In my opinion, as close to how chickens would naturally be in nature as possible. That means, organic (vegetarian) feed, and free roaming outdoors with access to sunlight and fresh air (side note: there is a hilarious "Portlandia" episode that makes fun of exactly what I'm talking about). This is why I'm trying to find a sustainable farm to get all my animal/dairy products from that allows visits/tours. I just want to know where my food comes from. I spent years being a vegetarian because the idea of where meat came from was gross/inhumane. That was back when I only knew a tiny bit of how disgusting and terrible conventional meat was. Having a baby further pushed this desire. I want Charli to grow up knowing where her food comes from instead of it just mysteriously showing up on a shelf somewhere. I feel that this is very important, but I can't really pinpoint exactly why. So, until I'm able to buy a chest freezer so I can keep the bulk meats/cheeses from a specific farm, I'm forced to spend ten minutes looking at each item in the co-op until I've successfully got my "basics" down.

This leads me to my brilliant business idea. If I were rich, I would open up a very small co-op that carries only one (two at most) of each type of item. Hand picked to be the "best of the best", I would only carry grass fed, organic and pasture raised meat and dairy products with information (and pictures) about the farms they come from in a sign located by the items. I would only carry the cosmetic beauty supplies and household cleaners that met the very highest of non-toxic standards, no "questionable" ingredients. I would also open up a small "salon" section devoted to beauty with a cosmetologist trained in non-toxic hair coloring (such as Henna), pedicures/manicures that use non-toxic nail polish/remover* etc... Until I unexpectedly become rich, if anyone rich is looking to open this store, feel free to come to me for ideas, I have plenty!

*Seriously, I had no idea how toxic and dangerous nail products and salons were until last week. There will be a future post to come on that soon, with non-toxic options for us who still want painted nails.

My favorite King of the Hill Episode called "Raise the Steaks"

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After Hank (the dad) buys organic food from the co-op:
 
Bobby: "... and this tomato is delicious too!"
Luanne: "This is a tomato? I thought it was a heaven ball."
Hank: "You two aren't making any sense, tomatoes don't have any flavor [eats tomato]... MMMM!"
Peggy: "Hank, if this is food, what have we been eating!?"

Healthy Eating, Day 1

Day one is always easy on any eating program (at least for me). Basically I started going grain free with no unnatural sugar (or artificial sweeteners) today. The hardest part so far is getting used to cooking with cast iron. When I would make eggs, I would leave about 75% stuck in the skillet, and then I'd have to spend a long time cleaning the skillet, repeat for next meal. Today, this problem was solved thanks to this Prairie Homestead blog entry! For the first time, I have successfully made scrambled eggs in a cast iron skillet with the pan remaining clean (no egg stuck on it). It requires cooking with more fat (which is hard because I'm so used to cooking with as little oil/butter as possible to omit the calories), and letting it get hot enough before putting in the scrambled eggs. Once they are in, leave them alone for a few seconds to form a sort of "crust" and then swish them around until they are done. So simple, except for the fear of overusing fat. That's one of those habits that will take time to break, but I'm sure I'll get there.

My skillet after just a wipe out post-scrambled eggs.