I'm one of "those" people...

If there was one thing I could change about my life, it would be that I could eat whatever I want and not "pay" for it later with joint pain, hospital visits, increased asthma attacks/allergies, weight gain, headaches, fatigue... and the list goes on. Aside from giving up particular foods that I love (BREAD!!), I absolutely hate being "one of those people" who has dietary restrictions that makes everything (like cooking, going out, or going to someone's house for dinner) more difficult. I hate it so much that I have compromised my diet to please others over the years, and then paid for it later.  I can't count how many times I have not had time to eat at home (or was just a poor planner) and then made plans to go out to dinner and end up at a place where I can't eat anything on the menu. Instead of being a burden and saying "There's nothing I can eat there, can we go somewhere else?" I just go with the flow and usually end up eating something I shouldn't due to being extremely hungry and just giving in to the moment. This has been the downfall of every single eating plan I've tried to follow. I feel like if I choose to stick to it, I also have to be a burden or plan killer. Since food is involved at every social gathering, this is unavoidable. After all, when was the last social function you attended where food and drink were not involved? Can you think of one? I can't. This became much more obvious once I stopped taking much pleasure in food. My focus is now strictly on finding things that won't make me sick. Eating went from being an enjoyment to a huge burden.

I've come to the conclusion that I now have to accept I'm one of those people. I have to just accept it. There it is. I officially admit it to myself. I have to be a burden to be healthy. I also have to accept that it isn't fair to compromise my health to please others or to avoid being an inconvenience. After all, good friends wouldn't want me to be sick if I had the choice not to be. This is easier said that done. I have to remind myself that others without food allergies/reactions likely don't understand what is involved if I just give in and go with the flow like I so desperately want to do... even just one time. Most people don't know what it's like to wake up exhausted, in pain, unable to think clearly, and then go about the day ignoring the fact that they feel awful because of that piece of bread or beer they ate from the night before. I wouldn't want them to either! I also need to stop assuming others understand this sort of thing. They may not understand the importance of sticking to it because they don't see the outward reaction. This is the problem with silent illnesses when you're not a "complainer". People don't know what they don't see and what you don't tell them. I've had people say things like "I've seen you eat pizza before, can't you just have a bite, it must not be that bad of an allergy?"... Sure, they have seen me eat pizza before (I used pizza as an example just because it causes the most reaction for me out of every food), but that's as far as they have witnessed. They didn't see (or hear about) the part where I went home and couldn't sleep all night due to a racing heartbeat and itchy skin, which lead me to take 2 Benadryl and pseudo-sleeping all night, and then waking up in the morning with a terrible headache, asthma, joint pain and then remaining completely fatigued for the next few days. If this happened to them when they ate pizza, they probably wouldn't eat pizza either (or make those sort of comments). So, I've posted six tips below for those who have friends or family with food allergies who may not know exactly what to do or say to help regarding various situations. These can pretty much be applied to everyone on some sort of diet, whether it's to avoid allergens or not:

1. If you're inviting them over for a meal, tell them what the meal is ahead of time so they can plan around it. It may mean eating at home beforehand if it's something they can't have any part of, but it is always very appreciated when they know this ahead of time. Also, ask them if they have any questions about the meal or want to know what's in it. People with dietary restrictions dread being a burden, and this can make initiating questions about what's in your food uncomfortable. Be assured that this doesn't mean you have to modify or change what you're making. They don't expect anyone to suddenly become an expert in what does or doesn't have xanthan gum or yeast extract (just examples). They very well may be able to eat what you're making, but maybe they just err on the safe side and don't because they don't know what's in it and didn't want to ask.
2. Don't be offended or feel bad if they don't eat something you've made. It is not personal at all. In fact, I'm sure they would love to eat whatever it is. It just means they will feel miserable if they eat it and need to avoid feeling miserable. They are most likely used to missing out on wonderful food, so this is nothing to feel bad about.
3. Try to have social gatherings that aren't based around food. Food is so ingrained into our society that this is a difficult one. But while food represents joy and refreshment for the "normal person", it can represent anxiety and stress for someone who has restrictions. After all, social gatherings don't have to involve food, right?
4. Have a pot luck instead of cooking everything yourself (just try not to ask them to bring the dessert). That way he/she can always bring something they are able to eat, even if there's nothing else they can eat at the function. Speaking from experience, desserts are really hard for people to eat with food allergens. They almost always involve dairy or flour, and the dairy free/gluten free deserts probably aren't ones "normal" people would choose to eat because they usually don't taste good unless made from scratch by an experienced baker (just being honest!). When I'm asked to bring desert, 99% of the time I just bring something I can't eat and know everyone else will enjoy.
5. Decide on a restaurant that has a wide range of foods, or brags of their "gluten free" options. This tip works for both "normal" people and those with dietary restrictions. Pretty much anyone with food allergies can't go to places like pizza joints, sandwich places, Chinese restaurants, or places that just serve fried food (like most bars). A good rule of thumb is if there aren't salad options on the menu, it's going to be hard to find anything for someone with food restrictions to eat. I mentioned looking for restaurants that brag of their "gluten free" options because restaurants that are familiar with gluten intolerance will have a much higher likelihood of accommodating the menu to other allergens or restrictions as well.
6. Be supportive. Avoid trying to get them to eat things they shouldn't, or downplaying how much of an ingredient is in something. It isn't always the amount of an allergen that causes a reaction. A tiny amount can cause an auto-immune response that sends their body into a downward spiral. I had a bartender once tell me he had someone who had Celiacs get sick from a mixed drink there that was "gluten free" each time he came in. They couldn't figure out the problem for a long time. It turned out that the ice was kept in an area that had a tiny bit of other alcohols that were not gluten free drip on it. This tiny amount was causing his body to attack itself (granted this was a severe form of celiacs). Once he eliminated the ice, the problem stopped.

So those are my tips and experience based from the perspective of one of those people. I welcome any more ideas or thoughts to make things easier for everyone, "normal" people included!